Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Deep End


The Deep End     
Ariane Freebody                                                                                                            


"What is depression like?" he whispered.

"It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing."

Struggling to resist the overwhelming confusion rapidly engulfing your body, time slows down until it grinds to a halt and ceases to be.  With your stunned senses numbed, your evaporating weight diffuses itself downwards along your spine as your weightless body is vertically drawn upwards.  Ears pounding with the muted sounds of your silent screams, you are unable to think straight and the only remaining thought in your overwhelmed head is the lurking thought that you can’t be saved, you are alone, and you are helpless.

Wanting to be rescued, to be relieved from the endless pain infecting you, your frantic lungs plead for air as the mounting water pressure within them mounts continuously.  Yet you do not give up.  You fight and thrash your weightless legs about, even though you are constantly being pulled downwards by an imaginary leash that leads you to the depths of your soul, where all fears and insecurities are buried and reside.

With your gagged throat burning from your uncontrollable choking, the drumming sound of your pounding heartbeat becomes fainter and fainter as it recedes, and your open glossy eyes see nothing but the dull grayness engulfing you.  Like a puppet on a string, manipulated by the water consuming you, you drift along with the tide, as you mesmerizingly watch the silent queue of oxygen bubbles slowly rise to the surface from your voiceless but wide open mouth.
Tranquility.  Peace.  Silence.  Your body, from your fingertips to your toes, is infused by warmth.  Engulfed by darkness, you slip away into nothingness.  Your lungs useless, you suffocate in isolation.  Losing consciousness, you are in a trance and relieved to be asleep.  There are wounds that never show on the body.  There are wounds that are deeper and more painful than anything that bleeds. 


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