The Deep
End
Ariane Freebody
"What
is depression like?" he whispered.
"It's
like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing."
Struggling
to resist the overwhelming confusion rapidly engulfing your body, time slows
down until it grinds to a halt and ceases to be. With your stunned senses
numbed, your evaporating weight diffuses itself downwards along your spine as
your weightless body is vertically drawn upwards. Ears pounding with the muted
sounds of your silent screams, you are unable to think straight and the only
remaining thought in your overwhelmed head is the lurking thought that you
can’t be saved, you are alone, and you are helpless.
Wanting
to be rescued, to be relieved from the endless pain infecting you, your frantic
lungs plead for air as the mounting water pressure within them mounts
continuously. Yet you do not give up. You fight and thrash your
weightless legs about, even though you are constantly being pulled downwards by
an imaginary leash that leads you to the depths of your soul, where all fears
and insecurities are buried and reside.
With your
gagged throat burning from your uncontrollable choking, the drumming sound of
your pounding heartbeat becomes fainter and fainter as it recedes, and your
open glossy eyes see nothing but the dull grayness engulfing you. Like a
puppet on a string, manipulated by the water consuming you, you drift along
with the tide, as you mesmerizingly watch the silent queue of oxygen bubbles slowly
rise to the surface from your voiceless but wide open mouth.
Tranquility.
Peace. Silence. Your body, from your fingertips to your toes,
is infused by warmth. Engulfed by darkness, you slip away into
nothingness. Your lungs useless, you suffocate in isolation. Losing
consciousness, you are in a trance and relieved to be asleep. There
are wounds that never show on the body. There are wounds that are deeper
and more painful than anything that bleeds.